Understanding the Mistress & Pro-Domme that I am

I am very honest and know that in order to get into a relationship with someone they would have to understand My unique lifestyle. I can’t see any reason I would have to give up My lifestyle and fetish business associations. It is all a part of Me. The man would also have to consider how they would feel if business associates, friends, and family found out about all the aspects of Me. I don’t lie but I am intelligent enough to turn a conversation away from the issue. My family and neighbors know I sell leather and PVC clothing and leather goods. ‘Leather goods’ is what BDSM gear is often called.

I will be more than happy to discuss things in detail as we get to know one another. But this is one of the things that will or won’t make a relationship with you. If you are ready to stop reading, good-bye. You will have to have somewhat of an open mind to enjoy hanging out with Me. So… Allow Me this time to explain a few things.

Beating a person is abuse.
Forcing someone to have sex is rape.
All BDSM is consensual and with negotiated limits.

In a nut shell, BDSM=Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism

Bondage = to tie them up, cuffs, handcuffs, shackles, stock, chains, ropes
A person can be bound for many reasons. So they stay still as you use a flogger, whip, paddle or any implement. They may be bound so they cannot move or escape. The person may love the idea that they can’t get away as you do anything to them. The concept of ‘I didn’t do anything nasty I was forced to do that nasty thing’ is a wonderful way of not feeling guilty for a socially unacceptable act.

Discipline = the act of corporal punishment.
This does not always mean whipping, flogging, or paddles. A person may love to be controlled. They may long to have a structured life or even just during the time of play they want to be told what to do.

Sadism = the enjoyment of inflicting pain.
I am a sadist. I like taking a person to their limits. I like the moans, the whimpers and the begging. This can be from implements used or in an emotional or mental level - such as tease and denial or making someone do something they don’t want to do. I enjoy having the control. I adore the intensity of a session.

Masochism = enjoyment of pain
This is a person who would love to play with a sadist since a sadist will play more intensely that any other categorical word I use in this simple explanation. The type of pain varies a lot and is usually specific

Now that the acronym BDSM has been broken down to a most simplistic definition I can explain how it relates to Me. I am a lifestyle Mistress; meaning I am a Mistress as part of who I am and how I act all the time. One of the most difficult things is for a regular (vanilla) person to understand My BDSM affiliations, involvement in the BDSM community, and being a Pro-Domme as well as a lifestyle Mistress. I will always have people that know Me as Mistress Kay. I have written a book, planning on writing a few more, and enjoy the respect people give Me in the lifestyle.

I have very strict pro-Domme session rules. I am never nude. I am never touched. There is no sex. All the rules can be read in full detail on My profile www.bdsmsanctuary.com/mistress_kay Although I will always be a Mistress, I may give up being a pro-Domme. I offer time to people as a pro-Domme because people need a safe, educated, experienced, and sincere Mistress. I really dislike that there are prostitutes who offer ‘Pro-Domme services’. Note the word prostitute and services. We all know being a prostitute is illegal. Offering any sexual service is illegal. And the worst part is that prostitutes pretend. Unless you are in the BDSM lifestyle you have no connection to the energy in the session or regards for the entire person, meaning on all levels -mental, emotional and physical (not necessarily sexual) and even spiritually.

In our society men no longer have a physical, emotional, and mental challenge that will prove spiritually they are a man to their tribe and to their self. Often people need a way, need the test of personal strength and find that test of willpower with a Pro-Domme. Some have a fetish that they cannot indulge in with their mate. There are hundreds of reasons people seek a pro-domme, each one is very personal. Many like the disconnection of being with a pro-Domme instead of on a personal relationship level. I am sure you can understand why people want to feel safe and secure with total confidentiality of the activities.

The décor of My play area, equipment, toys and tools used are expensive. My clothing and shoes are not cheap either. The supplies and the hospital grade chemicals that are used for bio clean up also costs money. I screen people and am very, very selective. I am so selective that sometimes I may only have one session in a month. As a Pro-Domme, I am given a gift, a tribute. This is an added thrill for Me. It seems so much more appropriate for a submissive man to also give Me a gift for allowing him to serve Me.

I am a matriarch. I do think Women should be highly respected. I think there is one key Woman that holds the family together. She is the strength and the discipline; she is the teacher and the one who can comfort. She can offer unconditional love.

Use this banner link to see more pictures and to learn more about My being a Pro-Domme